So you want to be an Officially Licensed Helper Monkey?

Well, the fact that you've made it this far suggests you either have great intestinal fortitude or you're extremely gullible.

We'll leave it up to you to decide which.

Now that you are here, we'll bet you'd like to know how you can join the Ranks of the Honored Helper Monkeys. It's simple:

1. Contribute some content. Whether you're interested in writing articles for the Fighting Cephalopods homepage, or you're a fellow RPG geek, we're always looking for quality writing, artwork, links, you-name-it. Ben and Al both have day jobs and significant others, so free time that's available to create crap to put on the site is limited. Not that they don't enjoy maintaining and expanding monkey-bars.net—just the opposite. But they like to make sure their lives and relationships don't suffer as a result. So, if you have an idea, a piece of writing, some artwork, whatever—send it to us. We gotta find some way to use up all the space. . .

2. Get the word out. If you see something on the site that you find interesting, tell your friend/relatives/co-workers about it and tell them to drop by. You like the Frank t-shirts we have? Or some piece of 'Pods gear strikes your fancy? Make a purchase, show it off to the world. If someone asks about it, tell him/her where you found it and that he/she would be foolish to go one minute longer without one for his/herself. Don't make us beg. It's not about money—it's about publicity.

3. Put up a link. Do you have a website of your own? Even if it has nothing in common with what we have here, slap up a link to monkey-bars.net (you can find two nifty link-type graphics on the aptly titled Links page) and we'll even return the favor by linking to you too. Could we be any nicer?

4. Give us money. This thing ain't free. (OK—so we're not seriously suggesting you send us cash. But you could check out the nifty FrankWear! or Official Arkham Fighting Cephalopods gear we have available in our CafePress stores. They are all quality items, and we feel confident that your friends and relatives—even strangers on the street— would be insanely jealous of you for possessing any of the fine monkey-bars.net related products. And we benefit as well: a portion of every purchase goes to fund this site's maintenance and growth. It's a win-win situation, don't you agree?)

That's it. Really. If you can do any one of those four simple things, you can be an Officially Licensed Helper Monkey. Or, feel free to do two of them. Or three. Or—hell—if you're gonna do two or three of them, you might as well go all the way and do all four. (Ok, you don't have to send money. We realize it's crass to even suggest such a thing in the first place.) We said before, we don't want to be reduced to begging. We're doing this for you, after all.

There is no limit on the number of Helper Monkey Licenses available. And even though Frank has the final say as to who actually gets one (and who gets a foot in the face), we can (probably) convince him you're deserving. Or we'll just get him drunk and enter you on the Honor Roll while he's sleeping it off. Thank you and good night.

Sincerely,

Ben & Al

ver01 : 4.8.02

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